Real Gym, Real People
I’m officially checking myself into the institute for crackheads (I know, it’s not funny). So I went to that open bar I was talking about last night and got shamefully drunk within minutes. I am so pathetic I had to borrow money from my friends (thanks guys, I’ll pay ya back) in order to tip the bartender. My friend JL was spinning some 80’s crap. I demanded that he download seal-crazy, which he did. (yes!) Basically, I ended up dancing like a freak-a-leek and falling on my face. I’m a bad, bad bitch (quote credit: olgreeneyes) I was in bed by 10:49 pm up this morning since 4:28 am (reason for my first sentence). I also had a nightmare but I am not telling you about it because I once read somewhere that dream-talk bores people. Not unlike this blog.
Anyway, since I am a rambler, I am going to try to pick subjects to write about. Today’s subject is: Pilates Class.
So like I said before my gym is very cool but ghetto. It’s a NYC government recreation center. I used to go to equinox, so it’s a shift. But let me tell you something, everyone who walks in my (nyc gov) gym is cool as shit. Fuck all them smoothie drinking pussies, this is the real shit. Before I tell you about Betsy the realest most bad (meaning good actually) Pilates teach ever, I’ll tell you about this other lady. This lady is the least flexible thing I have even seen. Let’s call her “moaner.” She moans and groans throughout the entire class, and never shuts up. When I was in the locker room a piece of fake hair (she wears a dew rag to the class) fell out of her bag. She flipped out and was like, “godamn!”
She is funny, but Betsy is effing hot. She is 60, she comes into class in leather pants, and a horizontally striped, black and orange hoodie, with the hood on. To top it off she has those white platform sketchers that everyone and their mother had in 1994. I’ll try to upload a picture of these for y’all. She takes off her cloths ‘cause underneath she has a full spandex bodysuit. She also brings this huge stereo system into the class that plays this celestial music with birds tweeting in the background. The music is really growing on me, I find myself in the middle of class being like omg, I love this part! Betsy is the type that makes that clicking noise and shakes her head a lot. Especially when she says shit like “I see that someone (me, last week) has two different socks on.”
Last night she was like, “Im-a-gonna change this one up a bit.” It was the same damn routine. Just as the good part of the music was coming on, someone in the class let out a loud fart. And of course, “moaner” with the fake fair starts flipping out and moaning, “Why, gee ooooohh god,” Whoever denied it, supplied it.
Then End.
Love,
GJ
Anyway, since I am a rambler, I am going to try to pick subjects to write about. Today’s subject is: Pilates Class.
So like I said before my gym is very cool but ghetto. It’s a NYC government recreation center. I used to go to equinox, so it’s a shift. But let me tell you something, everyone who walks in my (nyc gov) gym is cool as shit. Fuck all them smoothie drinking pussies, this is the real shit. Before I tell you about Betsy the realest most bad (meaning good actually) Pilates teach ever, I’ll tell you about this other lady. This lady is the least flexible thing I have even seen. Let’s call her “moaner.” She moans and groans throughout the entire class, and never shuts up. When I was in the locker room a piece of fake hair (she wears a dew rag to the class) fell out of her bag. She flipped out and was like, “godamn!”
She is funny, but Betsy is effing hot. She is 60, she comes into class in leather pants, and a horizontally striped, black and orange hoodie, with the hood on. To top it off she has those white platform sketchers that everyone and their mother had in 1994. I’ll try to upload a picture of these for y’all. She takes off her cloths ‘cause underneath she has a full spandex bodysuit. She also brings this huge stereo system into the class that plays this celestial music with birds tweeting in the background. The music is really growing on me, I find myself in the middle of class being like omg, I love this part! Betsy is the type that makes that clicking noise and shakes her head a lot. Especially when she says shit like “I see that someone (me, last week) has two different socks on.”
Last night she was like, “Im-a-gonna change this one up a bit.” It was the same damn routine. Just as the good part of the music was coming on, someone in the class let out a loud fart. And of course, “moaner” with the fake fair starts flipping out and moaning, “Why, gee ooooohh god,” Whoever denied it, supplied it.
Then End.
Love,
GJ
2 Comments:
gee, jay, gj...... girl juice, right?
nasty.
no its not nasty like that. no juice is involved..well maybe
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