Incoherent

I basically started this stupid blog b/c I didnt give a shit about my job or life really and wanted write about funny stuff that happened umm...I just forgot where this sentence was going. Basically I used to go out alot because I felt that I was young and needed to get alot of raging out of my system and meet ppl and see the whole world and shit and I always had fun. I used to be so restless and felt like if I didnt go to every country and every party and every show and every movie etc, I would be missing out. Now I usually hate going out. I feel like I have done and seen everything. Is that depressing? I just want to sit around and talk. But I had a surpisingly fun night going out last night. Even though I was just dancing by myself mostly. Micheal T is so barbie dollish and loves josh. But there is something so refreshing about his plastic surgeried up face. Its like he just wants to be your friend..hahaha I dont fucking know what I am saying. But I am like, 'Why am I shaking this dude hand?'. Umm..yeah so I was thinking that I wasted years of my life at my last job. But luckily or unluckily since I can see 100 different POV, I think it was all in all a good experience. I learned how NOT to run a business, and that I dont really give a shit about environmental invesitgations in nyc. I always cared more about the story, like the story of the abandoned cancer hospital or the people. But I don't care about the technical stuff of buildings. Also I really want to remain friends with one of my coworkers after this. I feel lazy right now. I wish I wasnt so picky about people in general. I love my friends. Oh yeah, why the mohawk JT? why? drugs making ya do crazy things. This won't fly if we get married in 10 years.

Also its almost thanksgiving time, and I always feel like my family is half-assed(?) I dont mean that probably the way it sounds. It just feels incomplete somehow. Like there needs to be someone leading it all whether it comes to just conversations of anything in general. Its like I have to be loud or lewd to fill a void or else there is nohing there. You know they just want to quietly bake a pie and and talk about the 100 sick people in my fam and then its done. But then there was a time when my mom and sister and I just danced around the kitchen like idiots while my Grandma cursed us all out.

I want to end this blog soon, because I not telling any funny stories or reviewing things anymore, argggg I suck. I also cant proofread. Its like eating cold spagetti 2 night in a row.