im deadass

life gets so hard sometimes, but when you put everything in perspective of all problems of the world, they seem so tiny that we wonder how our egos could be so concerned. I am really saddened about whats hap penning in my school with my best friend. I decided that even if she tried to stay i am going to look for a new place next year. I am really only starting to believe that i am only helping so much in the school. I think I am actually, and I just don't want to feel guilty if i go to a better job. I am tired of thinking I owe anything, I am allowed to make an easier life for myself. I know the kids will be bad anywhere but I want to go to a place where the administration is more supportive and don't black mail teachers. I will be so bummed if she leaves but i know that we can always be friends. shes not a flake at all. I also know that jobs aren't that important. I think its important to not want to kill yourself everyday. I don't care what i do i just want love, but I am afraid I don't know how to get it.